Leading From Talking vs Leading From Listening

Yesterday I went on a hike with my husband and asked what I should write about today.
“What would be interesting to you about leadership and communication?” I said.
He thought for a moment and replied: “Leading from talking versus leading from listening.”
Ok then. Here is what came up from his idea.

Most leaders have trained themselves to lead through talking - to explain, clarify, persuade, inspire. Talking projects confidence, direction, and expertise.

But there’s another kind of leadership that often goes unseen - leading from listening.

When we lead from talking, our attention is on what we want to express.
When we lead from listening, our attention is on what wants to emerge.

Talking leads from knowing.
Listening leads from learning.

Talking can create alignment around our ideas.
Listening creates alignment around shared understanding.

I didn’t always know how to listen. For years, I was focused on expressing, explaining and well, trying to convince. It wasn’t until I trained in peer counseling in 2008 - and served hundreds of clients through active listening in the decade that followed - that I truly learned what it means to listen with presence. That experience changed everything - so much that it set me on the path to becoming a coach.

In high-stakes environments, where precision matters, many leaders equate explaining with results - yet the best outcomes often arise from the willingness to pause, to attune, to hear what’s emerging from the collective.

Leading from listening doesn’t mean being passive or quiet. It means being attuned enough to know when speaking serves the moment - and when it’s silence that does.

The leaders who master this shift don’t lose authority, they gain influence. Because people feel heard, not managed.

What might change in your leadership if listening became a bigger part of leading?