When You Avoid Difficult Conversations, You Pay The Price Later

“Difficult conversation” covers a wide spectrum of moments where something important needs attention, and sometimes repair:

• A disagreement that lingers,

• A reactive moment we pretend didn’t happen,

• Being on the receiving end of a blow-up,

• A slow-building tension that resurfaces,

• Or a conflict so big it feels like a betrayal.

Different scenarios, same truth: Something in the relationship has been damaged - slightly or significantly - and repair is required.

Avoidance is comfortable, often for understandable reasons. We tell ourselves:

• “It’s just work.”

• “They’ll get over it.”

• “That person doesn’t matter.”

• “It’s not worth it.”

• “I’ll just let it go.”

These thoughts create the illusion that avoidance is easier.

I get it. Like most people, I don’t like conflict.

But in my late twenties, I had a big aha moment: I realized I’d created unnecessary problems with several people through poor communication. I didn’t know better, so I didn’t take accountability. I can extend grace to my younger self for that.

Years later, when I understood the impact, I repaired what was possible.

• I apologized to the coworker I’d alienated with my venting.

• I apologized to the family member I’d shut out.

• I contacted a couple of others I could have met with more calm.

Those conversations were uncomfortable and vulnerable. But they taught me that avoidance multiplies harm, and accountability restores alignment. Some people forgave me - others probably still don’t like me, and that’s ok. What matters is that accountability happened.

Now, incidents like that are far less frequent and intense. When they do happen, I address them quickly. That practice has made my communication cleaner, my relationships healthier, and my leadership stronger.

Addressing a difficult moment takes courage and presence. It’s not easy to confront your own reactivity or engage someone who might be defensive or hurt. It’s not easy to be wrong, and say it. But that’s exactly what credible leadership requires.

Avoidance, on the other hand, creates a debt, and the interest compounds.

You pay the price later when:

• A small conflict escalates,

• You think, “I should have said something,”

• Embarrassment sets in,

• Your credibility erodes,

• Or team dynamics are affected by the issue.

Avoidance doesn’t erase the problem, it amplifies it. What could have been a brief conversation becomes a charged one. What could have been a small repair becomes a wide rift.

You don’t need the perfect script. Just one grounded opening: “Something happened between us that I’d like to revisit.”

The sooner you start, the lower the price you pay, and the more you strengthen your credibility, relationships, and integrity.

If there’s a difficult conversation sitting on your desk (or in your heart), ask yourself:

What will it cost me if I keep waiting?

And what might become possible if I address it today?