Leadership Is A Way Of Being, Not A Role: Lessons From Raising A Dog

Over ten years ago, we adopted a puppy. Raising him unexpectedly sharpened my understanding of servant leadership.

First off, the burden of responsibility is mine. I’m the leader and my role is to serve his well-being. His safety, health, learning, and emotional regulation depend on my discernment, consistency, and care. Authority without responsibility would be meaningless.

Secondly, unlike humans, my dog doesn’t use words. Leading him well requires attunement: observing behavior, noticing small shifts, and interpreting needs rather than projecting my own assumptions. When I miss his signal, the result is usually confusion or dysregulation, his and mine.

Finally, while discipline matters, the relationship is grounded in trust and care. Structure exists to support thriving, not control for its own sake. When my dog’s needs are met, his learning accelerates. When they’re not, his resistance increases.

This isn’t about comparing people to pets; it’s about the inner posture that servant leadership requires when leaders take responsibility for others’ well-being and growth.

The best leaders don’t lead through dominance or performance alone. They serve the conditions that allow others to do their best work: clarity, psychological safety, boundaries, feedback, and development.

Servant leadership isn’t soft. It’s demanding. It requires presence, self-regulation, and accountability for impact, not just intent.

My dog reminds me of that every day.