From “That’s Not What I Meant” To Owning Clarity

We’ve all been there.
Someone misunderstands us, and the words fly out: “That’s not what I meant!”

It feels defensive, like the blame belongs to the listener for not sifting through our words to find the meaning underneath.

But what if, instead of defending, we owned our responsibility for clarity?

Owning our message means slowing down, noticing where clarity slipped, and saying: “Let me try again.”

What follows is ideally more direct, more concise, uses “I” statements, and if feedback is involved, clearly describes the impact and a kind request for change.

That small shift - from defensiveness to ownership - transforms communication.
It prevents spirals of miscommunication, helps others actually hear you, and actually builds trust.

What’s your go-to strategy when clarity breaks down?