From “You Always / You Never” To What’s True Now

Few things spark or fuel an argument faster than “You always…” or “You never…”

Even if the pattern feels real, those absolutes usually trigger reactivity instead of resolution.

The foundational skill is catching ourselves before our own reactivity takes over. Taking a breath, slowing down, and choosing words that reflect the moment rather than the story in our heads.

Here’s the shift that can make all the difference:

Instead of the blanket statement, pause and name what’s actually true right now.

* “I felt let down when this happened yesterday.”
* “This is the third time this week you’ve…”
* “I notice I’m getting frustrated right now, and I want to talk about it.”

Specific, grounded language keeps the conversation in the present.
It opens the door to clarity instead of closing it with blame.

What’s your go-to way of bringing a conversation back to what’s true in the moment?