Are You Hearing What Isn’t Being Said?

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t being said.” (Peter Drucker)

We communicate in more than words.
Body language, tone, timing - and what’s omitted - often reveal more than the words that are spoken.

This ability to hear what isn’t said is an essential communication skill and a core aspect of the Social Instinct: the capacity to read between the lines, sense the relational field, and notice what’s missing in what’s being shared.

In STEM environments especially, facts are often clear - while feelings, assumptions, and misalignments tend to stay hidden.

The main reason I talk so much about communication - and why I work with leaders on this topic - is because this is where I struggled early in my own career.

Being low in the Social Instinct meant that I often missed subtle cues: hesitation, tension, or unspoken concerns. I heard the words, but not the full message, and I definitely didn’t pay enough attention to the impact I was having on others.

There is good news!
Listening at this level isn’t just a trait of people strong in the Social Instinct. It’s a skill that can be trained.

And for those of us who aren’t naturals, learning to listen for what isn’t said is truly life-changing work.

Leaders who learn to detect these signals early prevent misunderstanding, conflict, and wasted effort, not by talking more or better, but by attuning better.

Want to strengthen your leadership?
In your next meeting or conversation, start noticing what isn’t being said, and perhaps consider inquiring about it.