The Spectrum Of Truthfulness: Why Choosing The Right Level Matters

I’ve been in a few professional situations where a leader or colleague “came clean” after a communication failure - and called it transparency.

For me, that wasn’t transparency. Decisions had been made without including the people affected, information was shared only after the consequences were obvious, yet the word “transparency” was used to describe admitting what had already happened.

This got me thinking about the levels of truthfulness, and how we label our own intentions.

Here is a spectrum I find helpful:

* Coming Clean: Truth shared after concealment or omission. Reactive and corrective - often necessary - but still costly to trust.
* Honesty: Answering truthfully when asked. Ethically sound but reactive, and limited to the questions posed. It puts the onus on others to know what to ask.
* Disclosure: Proactively sharing relevant information to prevent misunderstanding or conflict of interest. Context-specific and intention-driven, acknowledging others’ stake in the situation.
* Transparency: Proactively sharing information others need to orient, prepare, and choose - even at the cost of personal comfort or control. It’s relational and attuned, sharing the power of knowledge and balancing timing, courage, and awareness. It’s a high standard.

I’ve seen well-intentioned leaders struggle with choosing the adequate level of truthfulness. Fear of vulnerability, attachment to power, self-doubt, or a desire to protect someone or something can make honesty, disclosure, or transparency challenging. It’s a difficult skill to master because personality patterns get in the way.

Why choosing the right level matters:

* Avoiding future problems: Failing to disclose or be transparent when necessary can erode trust and require repair conversations.
* Preventing credibility gaps: Mislabeling truthfulness creates confusion.
* Protecting boundaries: On the other hand, oversharing can feel intrusive. Sometimes less is more, but that choice needs to come from wisdom, not avoidance.

Disclosure or transparency aren’t always required. Sometimes even answering truthfully isn’t appropriate if it crosses boundaries. In those cases, there’s a better alternative than lying or withholding information:

“I’m not comfortable answering that question, so I’m going to decline giving this information.”

It’s clear, boundaried, and respectful - with no deception and no need to “come clean” later.

Next time you’re in a conversation, ask yourself:

* Which level of truthfulness am I choosing, and why?
* What is at stake for the people involved?
* Am I protecting myself or supporting others’ agency?
* Would a boundary be more truthful than the alternatives?

Truthfulness must be a conscious choice, so that credibility and trust are built in every conversation.