Being Already Good And Wanting to Grow Are Not Mutually Exclusive

There is a lot of advice out there about how to “become better,” and I regularly write content that can sound just like that.

How to become:

A better leader.
A better communicator.
More self-aware.
More confident.
More resilient.
More productive.

I think some of it can be genuinely useful. It can offer practical guidance when there isn't time for coaching, and sometimes inspire us to seek support for goals we want to pursue.

But taken together, it can leave us with the subtle (or not so subtle) message that there is always something about us that needs improving.

Coaching itself can accidentally reinforce this. We can start measuring ourselves by what progress we are making, what we are changing, and what we should work on next.

But what if we are already good just as we are?

Not perfect. Not finished. Not without challenges.
Just... good.

You don't have to believe that something is wrong with you in order to want to feel better.
You don't have to think you're an inadequate leader to want to develop a particular leadership skill.
You don't have to dislike yourself to want to change a behavior that isn't serving you.
And you don't have to turn yourself into a lifelong improvement project to take your own growth seriously.

There is a difference between:

“I'm not good enough, so I need to improve.”
and
“I'm already okay, and there is something I'd like to develop because it matters to me.”

The second is growth with acceptance and no self-rejection.

What if the goal wasn't to become a better human being indefinitely?

What if the goal was to feel better doing what we're already doing, develop a skill that supports something we value, or simply create the conditions in which we can flourish?

Growth can be worthwhile without requiring a verdict on who you were before. You can already be good, and still want to create more fulfillment in your life.

What would you want to develop if it were not about fixing or improving yourself?