How The Three Instincts Shape The Way You Communicate (Part 3)

In Part 1, we looked at how the Self-Preservation (SP) instinct filters communication through a lens of safety, sustainability, and practicality.

In Part 2, we explored how the Sexual (SX) instinct brings focus, passion, and a drive for intensity to conversations.

Now we turn to the Social (SO) instinct—the one attuned to relationships, shared understanding, and how we fit into the bigger picture.

People with a strong SO instinct are naturally aware of context and connection. They tend to scan for social cues and care deeply about how information lands with others. Communication, for them, is often about building bridges, inviting participation, and contributing to a shared purpose.

That can look like:

Strengths:
* Inclusive language that considers the audience
* Ability to read the room and adjust tone or content accordingly
* Motivation to inform, uplift, or rally a group toward a goal

Challenges:
* Over-prioritizing group norms or harmony at the expense of candor
* Adapting too much to others’ expectations and losing personal voice
* Talking at people instead of with them when trying to manage impressions

Ever noticed someone who keeps a conversation accessible and engaging across contexts—from 1:1 interactions to large group settings—tracking reactions, weaving in multiple perspectives, and making sure people feel included? That’s likely SO at play.

In communication, SO types tend to seek relevance and connection—often trying to gauge what matters most in the moment and how their message will land for everyone. They’re frequently the ones shaping tone, pacing, and flow in team settings.

Under stress, this instinct may scramble to stay attuned: over-interpreting others’ body language, overthinking how they’re perceived, and performing instead of connecting.

Do you recognize any of these SO patterns in yourself—or in someone you collaborate with?

And that wraps up this series!

To communicate more effectively, it helps to understand the instinctual lens you're coming from predominantly, and recognize when it’s helping or hindering connection.

A great developmental goal? Growing in the strengths of the other two instincts.

Which instinct tends to lead for you—and what might shift if you made space for another one to step forward?